2023 - don't let the door hit ya
on second thought, i might want to hit you.
i don’t know that i’ve seen one person talk about how they’ve had a good 2023.
what planets are to blame for this?
if you have had a good 2023, you might be the outlier. don’t brag!!!
but listen. the odds are against us. we have to work extra hard to make things work these days.
we’re still living through a global pandemic. witnessing genocide on our phones. experiencing insane climate change. and we’re still expected to carry on like there is a clear, hopeful vision for our future. we’re supposed to show up for work with a smile, raise babies, do good, and be good.
i know it’s difficult. impossibly hard. i wish i had the answer. i wish i had my typical characteristic relentless optimism. but, dear reader, it’s hard to find these days, isn’t it?
i hope it helps to know that you are not alone.
yes, of course, even in the midst of disaster there are things to be grateful for.
i turned 31 on 12-29 and used that time to reflect back on my 2023. easily the most difficult year of my life as i faced grief over the loss of my beautiful cousin michael, long covid issues and flare ups, a marital separation…i could go on.
in april i attended a month long outpatient program for mental health, similar to one i participated in in 2019. living with OCD is difficult even without stressful life situations. but this year had me understanding my mental health like never before.
i learned a lot over the last 12 months about the woman i want to be and the woman i have been.
i went back to school for my bachelor’s degree this year and have pushed myself to be in classes over full-time for the spring, summer, and fall semester. i have one semester left!
i started volunteering at a hospice center and will soon start at brown county prison, working with an employability team and helping inmates with their resumes.
i’ve lost nearly 100 pounds as i fell in love with nature walks and hiking all over again.
i’ve held a bunch of babies, went swimming with my dad in cool lake superior on a hot september day, had long and healing talks with my mom, and laughed so hard with my brother i saw stars.
i met some great trees. read some good books.
mostly, i just tried my best. to own it all. and to be better.
i’m thankful to be here. with you, reading my words.
may your 2024 be filled with good health, peace, and the deepest love you’ve ever known.
i won’t back down,
hannah
some good links: